On Being Human: A Memoir of Waking Up, Living Real, and Listening Hard

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Thank you to Penguin Group Dutton for providing me with a copy of Jennifer Pastiloff’s memoir, On Being Human: A Memoir of Waking Up, Living Real, and Listening Hard, in exchange for an honest review.

Jennifer Pastiloff has built an incredible life. She is in a loving marriage, has a beautiful child, and has created a successful career as an inspirational leader of life changing yoga retreats. However, the road to Pastiloff’s currently life was bumpy.

Pastiloff had a tumultuous childhood, which included the death of her father. She suffered from crippling self-doubt and anorexia. Her self-image issues played a role in her refusal to seek medical attention for her progressive hearing loss, an issue that caused her many years of social pain, excluding her from fully participating in conversations and feeling like people viewed her as less intelligent. She meandered through her twenties/early thirties, engaging in self-destructive activities and unable to figure out her true career path or to find a good romantic partner.

On Being Human is part memoir and part self-help book, as Pastiloff gives tips and exercises gleaned from her popular workshops for reader to try at home. Pastiloff is relatable and raw. I related to her sense of feeling lost in her twenties/early thirties. She dropped out of college and spent over a decade working as a server at a cafe. I was in a similar situation and I could relate to knowing that you have skills and dreams, but also not quite knowing how to focus on a career path. The sense of knowing that there is so much more out there for you, but also not knowing how to grab it. In a culture where we value the traditional education/career path, it can be very difficult for people who do not stick to that mold. Pastiloff filled me with encouragement and hope. I would definitely recommend On Being Human, to anyone who is feeling a little lost.

Another aspect of Pastiloff’s memoir is the idea of following your gut or inner voice. Pastiloff did not have dreams of being a yoga instructor or a motivational coach, but she listened to her intuition when the opportunities presented themselves, she took them. The first time she met her would-be husband, she wasn’t interested in him, but a decade later, her gut told her to pursue the relationship. It’s part trusting yourself and part timing, as life is ever evolving and sometimes you might need the time to grow, in order to be ready to accept an opportunity. Pastiloff in her early twenties was not ready to accept certain things and she needed the time to grow. Rather than beating herself up over these missed years, she looks at them as a time needed to develop into the person she is today.

Pastiloff experienced massive hearing loss, a condition that slowly worsened over many years. Finally, she realized that she needed to use a hearing aid, something that she had been embarrassed about to the point of choosing to miss out on hearing. It was a vanity issue. When she finally conceded to needing the hearing aids, she realized that she could not afford them. However, Pastiloff had built a community of friends and clients who wanted to help her purchase them. This community came through with several other financial emergencies. My take-away is if you show enough love to other people, especially giving it freely with no expectations, often this love will come back to you in abundance. I’ve seen this happen in my own life and in the lives of those around me. Pastiloff’s younger adult years were spent in such fear of judgement, that when she was able to push that aside, she saw the blessing of allowing other people to be part of her life. We often hear that it “takes a village” to raise a child, but I think that it applies to everyone. We all need help sometimes. We need a sense of belonging to a community.

On Being Human is a wonderful reminder of the power of humanity and of embracing life. I highly recommend it for anyone who needs a bit of a boost. I’d love to attend one of Pastiloff’s workshops and to see how her energy in person, compares to the page. It is radiant in her memoir!

Bachelor Nation: Inside the World of America’s Favorite Guilty Pleasure

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Thank you to Penguin Group Dutton for providing me with an advance copy of Amy Kaufman’s book, Bachelor Nation: Inside the World of America’s Favorite Guilty Pleasure, in exchange for an honest review.

PLOT– Amy Kaufman provides an unauthorized look at The Bachelor franchise.

LIKE– I was a reluctant fan of The Bachelor,  including all of its many spin-offs. I became a fan of the show, when I was a caretaker for my aunt, who was obsessed. Now, years after my aunt has passed away, it remains one of my favorite “guilty pleasure” shows.

At one point Kaufman was officially invited by ABC to be part of the press for Bachelor events, but they found that she was being too negative on social media and she was blacklisted. To write Bachelor Nation, she combined her insider knowledge, research (there are so many interviews/articles/books) and she interviewed both previous contestants, and those who worked on the production. Not everyone would speak with her, but her book still feels comprehensive. My main take-away regarding Kaufman’s interest in the subject, is that she’s simply a huge fan of the show, warts and all.

It’s pretty trashy. I don’t think it will come as any surprise that The Bachelor is heavily produced and a large portion of Kaufman’s insider look involves exposing the tricks that the producers use to create characters out of contestants and manufacture story-lines. It’s more fascinating than the actual show. Let’s face it, producing is the primary reason that the show is compelling. I’ve not seen about 3/4 of the seasons, so I didn’t know all of the contestants, yet Kaufman explains the scenarios in a way that is easy to follow, without prior knowledge. Even a casual fan, will find Bachelor Nation to be an engaging read.

Kaufman has also alerted me to  the Lifetime series, UnReal, a fictional  look at the production of a Bachelor-esque show= I know my next binge weekend.

DISLIKE– Truely, I enjoyed Kaufman’s behind-the-scenes look, but I didn’t like how her writing style leaned towards informal, using a lot of slang to make herself sound relatable. It didn’t work for me. For example, she refers to her group of friends and fellow journalist that meet to discuss The Bachelor as “Bach Discush.” I cringed each time I read that.

RECOMMEND- If you watch The Bachelor or are interested in the behind-the-scenes of a reality show, Kaufman’s Bachelor Nation: Inside the World of America’s Favorite Guilty Pleasure, is a must-read.